Abaddon's Gate by James S. A. Corey
Bull, Fred had said. Just that, at first. He could still remember Fred’s dark eyes meeting his. The shame had made Bull try to stand straighter, to suck in his gut a little. In that moment, he saw how far he’d fallen. Two seconds of seeing himself through Fred Johnson’s eyes was all it took for that.
He hadn’t had a drink since, even on the nights he’d wanted one more than oxygen.